I start my first official day of college on Wednesday, you would think that would be what is so frustrating. But, the fun never ends, something new and stressful always seems to come out of the woodworks, just when you think everything is going smoothly for once. I have more family visiting, they are staying with my grandmother. I clean my grandmother's house every week, therefore I am not over there until they leave on Wednesday. Through this whole process of deciding when to go back to school I have been earning $400/month cleaning her house, only to find out yesterday that she may not be able to afford it.
Granted, I am not trying to take advantage of her if she really can't afford it, I am just extremely frustrated because I start school in two days and now have to find a way to make ends meet, as far as daycare and everyday living expenses. I can't simply count on childsupport from Nick. IF he pays his rightful amount every month that doesn't even cover daycare expenses for a month. So in order for this to work I need to seek out a job, which I was trying to avoid while I was in school.
I know it could be worse I was just hoping for this to all run smoothly until I get the schooling over with. I don't want to be working 30+ hours a week because I won't have anytime to spend with Moose or to study and write papers etc. GRRRRR
Monday, August 27, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
The Birdies
So all the birdies are here and sometimes it drives me crazy. To have a houseful, literally, there is never a dull moment, however, there is also no such thing as alone time.
I share a bedroom with Max, so that in itself is pretty cramped quarters. When he was an infant there really wasn't any quams about it. We each had separate sides of the room, all his things were contained. As he gets older, toys get bigger, more abundant; and slowly it has happened without even noticing it. The personal space of mine consists of a bed and half of a nightstand. i don't really mind because I think that it is nice for him to be able to play in his room, also so his toys don't blow up all over the rest of the house. But, while Max is up it is understood there is no alone time...... it isn't then that I wish for the escape. When he goes to bed sometimes I really wish that there was a place i could go to myself. If I go on the porch someone is out there shortly to have a ciggarette or to talk. Sometimes you just want to relax and unwind and reflect on things by yourself.
So I know how I feel I can't begin to imagine how my mom or Jason feels. Jason came home at the begining of June and we don't even have a bed for him. he has been sleeping in little Nick's room and has a shelf for his clothes in his closet. his laptop and files are in the living room or even some still in the luggage bag! Nick starts school on Monday so Jay no longer is going to be sleeping in his bed.... I guess he will be on the couch.
Nick is eleven and probably having a hard time with this also. he has given up part of his room, gets his computer invaded upon, etc. It will still be hard in the coming months. Jason just got a job, Nick starts school on Monday, I start the following Monday...... things are getting even more busy. i am sure that there will be even LESS time to find to yourself....
I share a bedroom with Max, so that in itself is pretty cramped quarters. When he was an infant there really wasn't any quams about it. We each had separate sides of the room, all his things were contained. As he gets older, toys get bigger, more abundant; and slowly it has happened without even noticing it. The personal space of mine consists of a bed and half of a nightstand. i don't really mind because I think that it is nice for him to be able to play in his room, also so his toys don't blow up all over the rest of the house. But, while Max is up it is understood there is no alone time...... it isn't then that I wish for the escape. When he goes to bed sometimes I really wish that there was a place i could go to myself. If I go on the porch someone is out there shortly to have a ciggarette or to talk. Sometimes you just want to relax and unwind and reflect on things by yourself.
So I know how I feel I can't begin to imagine how my mom or Jason feels. Jason came home at the begining of June and we don't even have a bed for him. he has been sleeping in little Nick's room and has a shelf for his clothes in his closet. his laptop and files are in the living room or even some still in the luggage bag! Nick starts school on Monday so Jay no longer is going to be sleeping in his bed.... I guess he will be on the couch.
Nick is eleven and probably having a hard time with this also. he has given up part of his room, gets his computer invaded upon, etc. It will still be hard in the coming months. Jason just got a job, Nick starts school on Monday, I start the following Monday...... things are getting even more busy. i am sure that there will be even LESS time to find to yourself....
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Sometimes he breaks my heart!
Well, Max's daycare experience went fairly well, from what I was told. I brought Nonni and Pap to see his new school when I picked him up. As soon as he saw me he started running, calling me, and crying, I could have just cried. When he got to me he clung on for dear life and wouldn't look at anyone not even me. He just kinda put his head down. I showed them around and talked to the lady at the front, she informed us that he did really well.
I know that it takes a while for kids to get adjusted to new surroundings, but I didn't think that it would be this hard. I guess the difference is I never dropped him off, I always picked him up. It also is more difficult this time because he has been home with me for so long.
This morning was day two. It didn't go as well as yesterday, although I didn't expect that it would. Today, he walked in fine, carrying his little lunch box, but when we got inside he remembered he didn't want to be left there. So, he tried to throw a temper tantrum, which was just heartbreaking. I got him into the other room, with much difficulty, and a young girl had to take over and help calm him. She ended up walking him down the hallway again and the whole time he is screaming to me and holding out his arms.
Eventually it will get better. I don't know how much I can take though I feel as if I will break down the moment I am on the other side of the door. I guess once I am in school it will serve as a distraction for me. Max will get used to this new change I just hope he does it soon. :(
I know that it takes a while for kids to get adjusted to new surroundings, but I didn't think that it would be this hard. I guess the difference is I never dropped him off, I always picked him up. It also is more difficult this time because he has been home with me for so long.
This morning was day two. It didn't go as well as yesterday, although I didn't expect that it would. Today, he walked in fine, carrying his little lunch box, but when we got inside he remembered he didn't want to be left there. So, he tried to throw a temper tantrum, which was just heartbreaking. I got him into the other room, with much difficulty, and a young girl had to take over and help calm him. She ended up walking him down the hallway again and the whole time he is screaming to me and holding out his arms.
Eventually it will get better. I don't know how much I can take though I feel as if I will break down the moment I am on the other side of the door. I guess once I am in school it will serve as a distraction for me. Max will get used to this new change I just hope he does it soon. :(
Monday, August 13, 2007
The First Day
Today is Max's first day at school. Since I did the registration about a week and a half ago, I have been adjusting his routine in order to get up and out at a reasonable time. I adjusted the routine so that when I start school in two weeks it won't be such a shock to him being dropped off at 7 am. Things went pretty smooth this morning, although Max did want to be up at 5:30. He woke up and started calling mommy mommy mommy about 5 minutes before my alarm was to go off. So I tried to get him back to sleep at least for a little while; because once he is out of bed I can't get anything done.
So I got Max out of bed at 6 this morning, he was really excited because his shoes were put on before breakfast (that must mean we are going somewhere). He actually ate his breakfast faster than normal today, which surprised me. Usually, it takes him about 40 minutes to eat so I allotted that amount of time today and he only took about 25 minutes. I let him play for a bit then we were out the door by 6:50.
Once we got to the childcare center he decided he did not want to go in. So I am carrying his pack of diapers, lunch, a bag full of other misc. items, and trying to pull him along quicker. We got in and he was being a grump and scowling at everyone. I was really surprised that he did not cry. His last day of daycare was March 31st so he has been home with me since then, furthermore he wasn't really in childcare that long, he started Nov. 06-mar. 07. Needless to say I thought today would be a nightmare. I brought him back out to the little cafeteria, after dropping all his items in the classroom, and said goodbye. While I was writing out the check for the first week they walked him down the hall to distract him. But he didn't make a sound. I think he will be fine today. He definitely took this morning better than I did. I cried as soon as I shut the door behind me walking to the car. I couldn't bring myself to go home right away either; and now that I am here it is so quiet and I don't know what to do with myself!
So two weeks and the routine changes again and I will be going to school also!
So I got Max out of bed at 6 this morning, he was really excited because his shoes were put on before breakfast (that must mean we are going somewhere). He actually ate his breakfast faster than normal today, which surprised me. Usually, it takes him about 40 minutes to eat so I allotted that amount of time today and he only took about 25 minutes. I let him play for a bit then we were out the door by 6:50.
Once we got to the childcare center he decided he did not want to go in. So I am carrying his pack of diapers, lunch, a bag full of other misc. items, and trying to pull him along quicker. We got in and he was being a grump and scowling at everyone. I was really surprised that he did not cry. His last day of daycare was March 31st so he has been home with me since then, furthermore he wasn't really in childcare that long, he started Nov. 06-mar. 07. Needless to say I thought today would be a nightmare. I brought him back out to the little cafeteria, after dropping all his items in the classroom, and said goodbye. While I was writing out the check for the first week they walked him down the hall to distract him. But he didn't make a sound. I think he will be fine today. He definitely took this morning better than I did. I cried as soon as I shut the door behind me walking to the car. I couldn't bring myself to go home right away either; and now that I am here it is so quiet and I don't know what to do with myself!
So two weeks and the routine changes again and I will be going to school also!
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