Some things just frustrate you to no end; and it is hard NOT to take somethings personal even if they are not directed at you. I am a member of several support groups which has been great, however sometimes these support groups are more like a slap in the face for doing things you have done in the past.
This one group in particular, a woman is struggling with the notion of getting a Divorce to her husband of 10 years. She describes a lot of emotional distress and feelings that I completly understand. I can not completly empathize b/c my marriage did not have that much time vested, however I understand her longings and her feelings that it is over, based on her description. Now I am not one to even attempt at making a decision for you especially if I do not know you. My advice in this group is limited to things that I do know either through personal experiece or something I have learned. I do like to give advice because I know when you are going through something stressful or need someone to talk to, it is always nice to know that there is someone out there willing to listen and help guide you.
You are supposed to offer advice not tell someone this is the way it is supposed to be done. I understand marriage is a touchy subject to a lot of people and it is much easier to say what you want to say through a keyboard then it is to say these things in person. However, when I read through some of the advice that these hoity toity people are giving it just enraged me. How could you say such things to someone that is obviously going through a lot of emotional pain over this decision.
Of course in our society the divorce rate is steadily climbing, therefore one can come to the assumption that the traditional thoughts on the sanctity of marriage are not commonly practiced. I believe in trying to make a marriage work but somethings cannot be forgiven. Maybe I am being stubborn. These people are saying that the only reason for a divorce is abuse or infidelity; I agree those are reasons however, what about emotional abuse or simply the other partner deserting you or one party does not even try to make things work. Are you supposed to stand idly by and stay married to someone that obviously doesn't want to be married? Why would someone sacrifice their happieness and try in vain to make that work? It would be apparent to me that the secondary party isn't going to try that they have already made their mind up about the situation.
I did grow up in the church and I do believe that you are supposed to be married when it is right and you are supposed to stay married. However, in today's world that doesn't work if only one person in a failing marriage believes that. SUre give me the argument that you are supposed to marry in your faith and you are supposed to be emotionally stable to make the commitment, I get it! It doen't always happen that way. We make mistakes, sure they affect our lives drastically but we do make these mistakes. Don't judge me for something in my past simply because you wouldn't have done it that way.
