I have a lot on my mind lately. I think that I have finally got out of my little "rut" but to what avail. I had a really great conversation with a friend and without intending to he has put a lot of interesting thoughts in my head. I originally intended to just go out and have some fun. I mean he definitely interests me ... very intriguing person. What I didn't expect is a new problem to ponder. I don't know enough about him but I certainly didn't see that one coming.
Just talking about past events in a very analytical conversation is making me think about things in a new light. Things that I was absolutely sure of their impact and meaning suddenly have a different meaning. I don't know maybe it is all a game too.... I did decide (without his help) that I need to start doing things for myself. Things that I have neglected for many reasons.... I guess that is partially the reason that I called him... and also some other friends. Just ..... yesterday as a whole has left me reeling.
From a great conversation to a night that left a lot to be desired. I keep wondering whether the night turned out okay in the end.... I was really pissed but.. I can't live my life with disregard to the feelings of those around me. Not that I was trying to be rude or anything b/c I do love my friends... but I definately had an agenda that was not fulfilled.... yet. I made sure that my friends was? It wasn't until I got home that I realized what actually took place.
