Jumbled thoughts

I have a lot on my mind lately. I think that I have finally got out of my little "rut" but to what avail. I had a really great conversation with a friend and without intending to he has put a lot of interesting thoughts in my head. I originally intended to just go out and have some fun. I mean he definitely interests me ... very intriguing person. What I didn't expect is a new problem to ponder. I don't know enough about him but I certainly didn't see that one coming.

Just talking about past events in a very analytical conversation is making me think about things in a new light. Things that I was absolutely sure of their impact and meaning suddenly have a different meaning. I don't know maybe it is all a game too.... I did decide (without his help) that I need to start doing things for myself. Things that I have neglected for many reasons.... I guess that is partially the reason that I called him... and also some other friends. Just ..... yesterday as a whole has left me reeling.

From a great conversation to a night that left a lot to be desired. I keep wondering whether the night turned out okay in the end.... I was really pissed but.. I can't live my life with disregard to the feelings of those around me. Not that I was trying to be rude or anything b/c I do love my friends... but I definately had an agenda that was not fulfilled.... yet. I made sure that my friends was? It wasn't until I got home that I realized what actually took place.

Post Holiday Blues

Lately things have been so rushed. It seems like the holidays were so far away when they really weren't. I am about to finish another class (Thank God! b/c it is boring) and then I start into OB/Peds. That is a little exciting/overwhelming all at the same time. There is only so much that you can just *know .... based on being through the process. I guess that some of the terminology will be fine and all but I can admit that the past two months have been a little lax for me. Now that we are starting a harder core class I am regretting falling into bad habits; I will have to correct that SOON if I want to stay in the class.

Honestly I am looking forward to it because it will be a nice distraction from the day to day mundane life that has been going on around here. Every day it is get up, go to school (or run errands on days off), leave school, get Max, clean the house, cook dinner, clean the house. You'd think with all the "cleaning" that we attempt to get done we would be better at it. The truth is there is a lot of procrastination and "I don't wanna's " I am not blaming because i am probably the biggest offender as of late. I think that i am in a bit of a funk.

Max's dad called after New Years and that whole situation just leaves me speechless and fuming. then there is my other interest that has too much going on so we haven't been in touch. just a case of the post-holiday blues.